some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
