i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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