Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
