hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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