you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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