shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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