it's too hot outside to masturbate.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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