carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
