i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
