yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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