I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
