I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
My vagina is officially offended.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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