This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize