Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Randomize