They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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