But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
