Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
