That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
