I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
