If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Randomize
