so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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