Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
so much tequila, so little girl.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
