first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
