yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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