Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Do vagina's smell?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
