Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
