While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
