you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
