I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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