i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
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