Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I accidentally burped into my bong.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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