i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
