she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I could fuck to npr.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
