Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize