Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
You're like the curious george of whores
did i walk over a car last night?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Randomize
