Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
