Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
