They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
two words: eviction party
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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