Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
