i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Also, beer. Big fan.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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