i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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