So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
