3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i think i have two assholes
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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