paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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