Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
