I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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