So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
