Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
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