I think im going to throw up on grandma
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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