What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
