I have demons in me.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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