my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
My pussy is not your playground.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
