i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
