I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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