it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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