dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
