We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
