he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
