I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize