are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
