I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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