I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
