Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
