so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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