at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
