we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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