This girl is more easily done than said...
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
